Sense?

Everyone has views on the right way to live your life, the correct way to spend your money. People want to make sense out of everything. Is it OK to let something happen and just, well, let it happen? Why do we as a society try to answer everyone else's questions? Isn't one of the biggest lessons the Bible has taught us is if we are without sin, cast the first stone? Before we go pointing out flaws in other people, get that big ole' PLANK out of our own eye! It is much easier said than done when it comes to judgement or meddling in other peoples issues. The least we can do is try and try hard.

This topic comes to my mind because Ben and I went to see 'Into the Wild'. The true story of Chris McCandless who sold and got rid of everything he owned to rediscover life. He set out on an epic journey for freedom which unfortunately cost him his life. He is a modern day hero in my opinion. All he wanted was freedom from normalcy. Essentially he didn't want the typical life after graduating from college. I looked to his point of view to fuel my own ambitious adventures. What upsets me is critics. Even in death human beings will critique the hell out of someones life until no longer is a person remembered for being kind, giving, or funny. After seeing the movie I did some research to find some of the books cited in the film and discovered article after article stating that Chris McCandless was a lost human being or an idiot for not having a map in Alaska.

Great, I am even doing it now, critiquing. No, I hope to be praising this mans willingness to be uncomfortable and to experience life anew.

I read the book in 2004 right after I met my future husband. He actually handed me the book to read and said here is something you might enjoy. I enjoyed the book so much that it apparently solidified emotion within me that tonight welled up in the form of a big lump of tears right in my throat. It was stuck there towards the end of that movie and it took some strength to hold the mother load back. I recall my emotion being drawn from numerous subjects.

Such as, last weekend on the Ten Taypo trail in a redwood grove I dangled my fingertips along the edges of giant ferns. Last Sunday I helped a woolly worm get across the street so he wouldn't get run over. I surfed in a Pacific Northwest rainstorm that shielded my eyes from everything past two feet in front of me. I said goodbye to my Grandfather for the last time at my wedding two summers ago. My husband brought me a sunflower and Gerber daisy just because he appreciates me. My Mom, Dad, and brother are far away at the other end of our big country.
My life is filled with countless, miraculous emotions. Sometimes it is hard to fathom the magnitude of it all. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I have stared out into an actual wall of rain falling on the desert before me. This is what I have chosen for my life. I struggle with accepting right now for what it is.

I shan't try to make sense of it all. Embrace choices.